Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
