I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do vagina's smell?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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