Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
