she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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