yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize