My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
