Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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