My brain says no but my pants say off.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
