Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
