where am i from again
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
