nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
