Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
