thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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