I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
