She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just invented taco cereal.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't deserve a penis
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
