He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
