She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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