I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
