wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
