Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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