That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
