Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
