new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
