there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
