I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
