I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
