Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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