Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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