I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize