That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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