Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
