wat bout pragnant strippers??
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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