I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
