Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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