just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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