Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
