in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
