I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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