ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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