I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
