I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
