we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I've blown a few things in my day
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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