but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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