OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
