if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
