Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
try to milk me bitch
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
