i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
