i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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