if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
