Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
