but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
