just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize