Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drake has all the answers
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
