Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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