just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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