How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
