well he's currently spooning the coffee table
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
