Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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