yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
