i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
