Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize