Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
