but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
