Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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