I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
