she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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